i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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