I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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