just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
