i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
