yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
