Nicole vs. Life
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
