running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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