I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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