I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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