I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
