Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
