ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
