Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
