Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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