i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I see more hoeing in ur future
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