Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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