week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
