I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
