38 yer olds are good kisserssss
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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