Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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