she was so not down for the gang bang
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
