First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
