i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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