i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
