i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
