you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
