OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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