do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
