Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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