its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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