sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
