I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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