Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
