Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
