it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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