I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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