trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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