No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
