I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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