can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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