Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
