My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
