Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ok first of all what the fuck
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
