somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
