just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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