ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
