Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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