I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
