i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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