I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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