Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
