I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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