I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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