Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize