That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
