dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize