She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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