is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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