you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
