This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
