I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
