We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize